Thank you for hurting me.

A journey of not just surviving, but thriving.

Thank you for hurting me, I love you. Wow, I never envisioned myself saying those words. I must sound like I have a loose screw, but bear with me.

Since my initial awakening with plant medicines back in 2022, I have noticed a steady flow of beautiful souls who have gravitated towards me as I have worked to heal myself. Over this past year in particular, I have been feeling more and more called to sink into my role as a space holder on this Earth. As my confidence has built around my purpose in this life, the universe has answered with more and more people expressing gratitude for my gifts which has given me more and more gentle nudges to embody my Highest Self.

As I come out of 3 ceremony weekends over the past 1.5 months, I see clearly how my past has shaped my present and my future potential. I owe much of my vision to one of my plant medicine mentors whom when I sat with him in early March, planted the seed in my mind for what I was capable of - facilitating in ceremony one day. As he named some of my natural shamanic and healing abilities, I was able to give myself permission to let go of the imposter syndrome that was clouding the vision of my future.

Now coming out of ceremony number 3, and having spoken to my mentor once more about the nature of this work, I understand why:

To heal from the darkest of darkness, to release the hold and conditioning of our shadow, we need to be able to meet ourself and our healing with equal amounts of light.

In 2022 I began my journey of healing after sitting in my first Ayahuasca retreat. After more than 2 decades of thinking I was “fine”, the medicine humbled me to my knees in showing me the weight my unhealed psychological wounds placed on my life, and allowed me to access a feeling of joy that I never knew possible. Ayahuasca opened my mind and motivated me to heal what had been suppressed so that I could access the other side of the spectrum: freedom, love and joy. These past 3 years have been beautifully painful as I have braved and shined a light on the darkest corners of my shadow, allowing me to receive and gift love in a way I never knew imaginable.

In the realm of spiritual healing, it is often those with heavy traumas whom become the healers. For those who can hold and give love to their shadow, can hold and give love to anyone’s shadow. We can only go as deeply with others as we have been able to go with ourselves.

I am now at a point in my journey where I feel secure and confident in my ability to act as a Medicine Woman and guide for others. In reflecting on my relationships over the past 3 years, and through interactions with those close with me, I see that I already have been acting in this role. However, the gift that these last 3 intensive ceremony weekends have granted me is the opportunity to face the deepest of wounds, to forgive the perpetrators, to feel and hold them in their pain, and wish them love for their own healing. I see clearly how if it were not for the pain that I have felt, I would not be gifted with this role to share my healing for others. This mission is far greater than myself, I have a responsibility to all my human and non-human kin. Healing is not only for ourselves, it is for the collective healing of this Earth and all of whom depend on it.

And with that, I thank you.

Thank you for hurting me.

I know it was never your intention.

At your core, you are a good person.

I see and feel your pain.

I see how I have hurt others in response to my own pain.

I now understand you.

All is forgiven.

I love you.

Thank you for the gift you have given me.

I will forever hold you in my prayers.

All my relations,

Erin ♡

For further content, I would be honoured if you feel called to follow my journey and learn more about my offerings via my instagram account at @erinreidcoaching

I have been navigating many shifts and integrating at 1000 miles a minute after these recent ceremony experiences, and I am so excited to share more teachings with a wider audience.